"SuP"? exclusive...Republican arrested in Highland Park!

April 12, 2005
Dallas, Texas

In what can only be described as a complete SNAFU X 2…
…a CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN was arrested today in The Town of Highland Park.

“This has thrown the entire community back on it’s heels” one resident was heard to say. “That just never has been the way we handle things around here.”

This arrest comes only a short time after The Bubble Police arrested a long time resident Grandmother; dragging her from her home in handcuffs for some ridiculous thing called “outstanding warrants from unpaid fines.” That arrest sparked National and International debate and led to a substantial Bubble Police policy change.

“It has always been our policy not to change our policies due to any outside influence.
However we do reserve the right to “update” existing policies based on the level of downright embarrassin’ press we get.”

Though the mayor could not be reached for comment the Township does have a track record of arresting Mezcans, Blacks, Long Haired Scruffy Lookin’ Types…and Democrats; in no particular order.

This afternoon’s corruption of this tradition will no doubt send more shockwaves through the community.

“Today’s incident is a sad reflection on what is wrong with our Township today”; remarked a source close to the Town Council. "You sure as hell will not see this sort of thing happening after "Dubya” gets here. I will just betcha that ‘merican Civil Liberties Union had something to do with this.
The Democrats are upset about losing the election and somehow have infiltrated our police department.”

When “SuP"? pointed out that it could have been mezcans or blacks or scruffy long hairs the source stated he believed “they” had sumthin’ to do with it too.

“SuP”? will not identify the hapless Rebubblycan. That would be cruel. We are told by the man’s representative that the cop told him the whole thing could be settled for $600.00 and change.

Maybe life in the “Bubble” will be ok after all.


and a comment of note...

Well, yes, I must confess, that it was ME who was so rudely and unjustly treated by the HP police Dept. I was rudely treated, that is, until I got to the police station: It was at the police dept., once we were behind closed doors, that the police informed me that due to State mandate, that they HAD to arrest me. It seems that once a year, the HP Police dept. must arrest ONE Republican. I, dear bloggers, was the chosen republican this year. Yes, the arrest was brutal at the arrest site (tight handcuffs, foul language, hints of bribery, etc.). But, once I was safely behind closed doors at the police station, I was greeted by 4 stunning female members of the HP High School varsity cheerleading squad. Two rubbed by back, while the other two "took care of me". I was then treated to a nice warm brie, with rye crackers, a chilled 1986 Chateau du Drexel quenced my thirst. A few minutes later, a cart was wheeled before me compliments of the "HP Arts Patron League for Diversity". The cart held a tasty rack of lamb, lightly seasoned, with sugar snap peas and "Armstrong Park honey glazed carrots". To top it off, I feasted on a tiramisu desert that was served from the tight belly of one of the "cheerleaders". As I was reclining and "hanging" with the girls, the mayor came in an apologized about my untimely "arrest". He let me know that once a year, a non-HP resident, who is a certified republican is arrested-this is only for show. You see, he explained, the State of Texas would withhold state funds of $2.5 million-because HP police have been shown that they ONLY arrest democrats, mexicans, blacks and the occasional homosexual. If HP can prove that they indeed arrest republicans, then the state money is theirs. Anyway, my cell phone is ringing-I think it is one of the girls-I think her parents will be out of town this weekend!