Monday, September 26, 2005

Mr. Picassohead..

fun with copy and paste and my "o" my...are not these folks talented who did this?...
o...my...I just realized I have another appointment also...yep...it was good to see you too...and no that is not even close to the links I had to post here...

so...

It's Monday!...

until next time...

thank you for taking time out of yer day!...

A desperate wino...

tries as one may only try in nightmares...

to find a decent vintage...

Killer Dolphins...

I'm not kidding...this is serious...
they are armed and dangerous!!!...

Now, here we have a hurricane expert...from Idaho...

telling us that the Jap Mob was responsible for these hurricanes through some electro-mag sort of thing or something...

did i mention hurricanes?
did i mention the jap mob?
did i mention the guy quit his job to be a certified looney?
did I mention Rush Limbaugh got his job by being a certified looney on drugs?
thank you God!...

I love the net...

More whacked out pet owners...

dress up the animals they call "friends"...

Walrus penis bone...

in cute hat on patio)...

Major Boner...

walrus...

The British Library...

on line...

In the interest of clarity and yummy good posting...

this post contains pictures of what some folks call...

Stuff on my cat...

(I do not make this up folks)...

A veritable plethora of links and other stuff...

you just will not believe exist!...are on the way...
(in the pipe...5x5)...

But first...this Important Message!...

just so you know...

I will try to be somewhat more descriptive as to what exactly one may anticipate when one encounters a post here. It has occurred to me that many of you hop skip and jump through the links, as there are a couple of other things you need to get to on the net.
Far be it for me to judge!...

The only purpose of this blog was to try to bring everything I found interesting or absurd or funny or educational or (did I mention interesting already)?...

So it is up to me to try to make those links I bring here better defined with an unprecedented clarity...

Let's clirify ths frst...

The "spellcheck" in blogger.com does not recognize the word
"blog"...now I know that was an easy hit...but there there is something about me that says the software that I use should understand that I exist and so does the word "blog"...

How was that for clarity?...don't even dream of thanking me...
my pleasure...
Johno...

Friday, September 23, 2005

Rules for men...

and don't even think about not following them...

1. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
2. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature’s unsuitable.
3. Thou shalt not rent 'Chocolat'.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late: five minutes. Maximum waiting time: six minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1–10 scale.
6. If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem—you didn’t see nothin’.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your best buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.)
8. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies’ girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pals’ significant dickheads — low-level sports/music bonding is all the law requires.
9. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach…and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel…and it’s free.
10. When in a bar that has a ratio of more than five waiting customers per bartender, limit orders to beer and straight liquor. (No, your girlfriend does not need a frozen flying grasshopper with a twist of grapefruit.)
11. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you’re able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; hang up if necessary.
12. You cannot rat out a co-worker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may, however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with soft cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor’s broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes
13. Things you can always cheat on: your taxes, exams, and your resumé. Things you can never cheat on: golf, darts, and poker.
14. (The Sergeant Schultz Rule): When queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
15. Before allowing a drunken pal to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a “fuck off!” you are absolved of responsibility. Remember: Later on you will have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.
16. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
17. Always split aces and eights. No arguments.

Let's all sing along...

Once more...through the breech...

Speechless...

!@#$%^&*...wow...

Ok kid...you have been surfing the net long enough...

time to get a real job...

Remember!..."Only you"...can prevent this!

click or right click on download...hee hee...

Snake bit...Warning!...graphic content...P.S.A.

The Eastern Diamondback is big fat and slow...yer average Western Diamondback is smaller and generally pissed off...all the time...

K.I.S.S. ?

get a life post 46(b)...

P.S.A...

if you want to talk to a human...

Go ahead...

make my day...

smoke 'em if ya got 'em...

for this...

par le vue a humma humma...

I was going to research something really classy in French to say here...
but who cares?...

Folks sure could have used this on I-45...

with a name like "booger" it's got to be good...

This dating thing isn't working out for me...

the other night at the dinner table...

I said; "So, whaz sup with you?"

Her answer...

Shocking truth!...

Of course!...(not that there is anything wrong with that)...

Monday, September 12, 2005

And Brownie...yer doing a hell of a...huh?...

(what I really mean to say is that you suck and your fired!)...

But, if I said that I would have to admit that I hired you!
So, just go away! God has annoited me to run this country and you are messing things up! Look at my approval ratings!...What were you thinking?...See, now I have to go down there and ride around in that swamp and dammit Mike!...

And then our great leader appointed Davey Paulison as temporary head of FEMA...
sure...
yes, you remember...

the same idiot who said three days worth of food and some plastic and duct tape would protect us from bio-warfare attacks...

to borrow a phrase...we got our wish!...He is not the same idiot as we had before!

If this whole thing were not so tragic I would be laughing...but it is and I'm not...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Wanna cause trouble in your office?...

and none the wiser?...

did I mention I love the net?...

(certain attractive parts of it anyway)...

hmmm...toasty!...

Suicide is wasted on those who kill themselves...

Trudging off to work every day is much worse...

If you want to kill yourself...work with me for one week in the summer...
(You will wonder why you did not do it sooner)...

Honestly...anytime you "give up"...
other people pay...most often, the ones you care about the most...

The people like it...

...good enough for me...

scroll down for load/download...

Sit on it... and rotate...

(really)...5.78MB...

Decidedly off...

the island...

Hell...things aint so bad in Nar'lns...


me and my daddy had one hell of a vacation there just last week!

And some wonder where he get's it from...

mama is so like me!...
(that don't mean I'm a momma's boy now...don't get wrong here)...heh heh..

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Sunday, September 04, 2005

message to the planet earth...

all your oil are belong to u.s.!

Now this...is paranormal...

Question?...

If people believe in the paranormal and take paranormal things as really existing...

don't they realize that makes these things "normal" and not paranormal?...

Do Not Miss This!...

And behave!...or they will throw you out!...

More Art...

here...

Art for art's sake...

we need it...

I will be climbing the walls

soon...

China... "Zombie" Mongolian Cow Yogurt Super Girl!

really!...

yeahbutisitart?...

Lonely?...

chat with the whole damn internet...

Ahem...

(not that there is anything wrong with that)...

Damn right!...I need one!...

of these...
...are they available in adult sizes?...

Fun with the English language...

here...

Damn right!...I want one...

of these...

More wacky stuff...

here...

roflmao...can't breathe...omg...

genius...

An "un-natural" disaster...

here...

Internet problems?...

maybe thizill help...(probably not)...

Yet another find yer way out of the room thingys...

here...

hee...hee...

giggle...

Solve the mystery...

of the missing goat...

Pure genius...

Five Stars!...

Avast! me hearties...

arrrrgh!

Make your own Google logo...

here...

Here is a great way...

to see things...

Beware King George and his lackeys...The Congress...

and no doubt soon the "impartial court"...

"I apprehend no danger to our country from a foreign foe - Our destruction, should it come at all, will be from another quarter. From the inattention of the people to the concerns of their government, from their carelessness and negligence, I must confess that I do apprehend some danger. I fear that they may place too implicit a confidence in their public servants, and fail properly to scrutinize their conduct; that in this way they may be made the dupes of designing men, and become the instruments of their own undoing."
--Daniel Webster, Jun 1 1837

Moving on @ any cost...

I feel two wolves are fighting in my heart...

One is full of anger and hatred; The other is full of love, forgiveness and peace.
Every day the one I feed grows stronger...

If your name is George Forgan-Smith I have important news!

Your comment to the thread below tells me yer an idiot!

Registrant:
George Forgan-Smith
P.O. Box 5269
West End, Queensland 4101
Australia

Registered through: GoDaddy.com (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: FANTASTIC-EQUITY-LOAN.COM
Created on: 29-Aug-05
Expires on: 29-Aug-06
Last Updated on: 29-Aug-05

Administrative Contact:
Forgan-Smith, George gefsmith@tpg.com.au
P.O. Box 5269
West End, Queensland 4101
Australia
61 7 3315 2654
Technical Contact:
Forgan-Smith, George gefsmith@tpg.com.au
P.O. Box 5269
West End, Queensland 4101
Australia
61 7 3315 2654

Domain servers in listed order:
NS00.NS0.COM
NS403.PAIR.COM

Friday, September 02, 2005

There are indeed more links on the way to hopefully make you smile...

just not right now...please help!...

News...

Relief Organizations

* Red Cross: 1-800-HELP-NOW or https://www.redcross.org/
* Network for Good: www.networkforgood.org
* Episcopal Relief & Development: 1-800-334-7626 or http://www.er-d.org/
* United Methodist Committee on Relief: 1-800-554-8583 or http://gbgm-umc.org/umcor/emergency/hurricanes/2005/
* Salvation Army: 1-800-SAL-ARMY or http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/
* Catholic Charities: 1-800-919-9338 or http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/
* FEMA Charity tips: http://www.fema.gov/rrr/help2.shtm
* National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster: http://www.nvoad.org/
* Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals: http://www.la-spca.org/

Cash donations can be made to

* American Red Cross 1-800-HELP NOW (435-7669) English, 1-800-257-7575 Spanish
* Operation Blessing 1-800-436-6348
* America’s Second Harvest 1-800-344-8070
* Catholic Charities, USA 703 549-1390
* Christian Disaster Response 941-956-5183 or 941-551-9554
* Christian Reformed World Relief Committee 1-800-848-5818
* Church World Service 1-800-297-1516
* Convoy of Hope 417-823-8998
* Lutheran Disaster Response 800-638-3522
* Mennonite Disaster Service 717-859-2210
* Nazarene Disaster Response 888-256-5886
* Presbyterian Disaster Assistance 800-872-3283
* Salvation Army 1-800-SAL-ARMY (725-2769)
* Southern Baptist Convention -- Disaster Relief 1-800-462-8657, ext. 6440
* United Methodist Committee on Relief 1-800-554-8583
* Additional information at the National Voluntary
* Organizations Active in Disaster (NVOAD) at: http://www.nvoad.org/.

Other organizations supporting the relief effort.
America's Second Harvest
35 E. Wacker Dr. #2000
Chicago, IL 60601
(312) 263-2303
American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee
PO Box 321
847A Second Ave.
New York, NY 10017
(212) 885-0832
American Jewish World Service
45 West 36th St., 10th Floor
New York, NY 10018
(800) 889-7146
American Red Cross
2025 E St. NW
Washington, DC 20006
(202) 303-4498
Donations: (800) HELP NOW (435-7669)
AmeriCares
88 Hamilton Ave.
Stamford, CT 06902
(800) 486-4357
Baptist World Aid
405 North Washington St.
Falls Church, VA 22046
(703) 790-8980
Baton Rouge Federation
402 N. Fourth St.
Baton Rouge, LA 70802
(225) 387-6126
B'nai B'rith International
B'nai B'rith Disaster Relief Fund
2020 K St. NW, 7th Floor
Washington, DC 20006
(212) 490-3290
Brother's Brother Foundation
1200 Galveston Ave.
Pittsburgh, PA 15233
(412) 321-3160
Catholic Charities
1731 King St.
Alexandria, VA 22314
(703) 549-1390
Christian Reformed World Relief Committee
2850 Kalamazoo Ave. SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49560
(800) 55 CRWRC (552-7972)
Church World Service
PO Box 968
Elkhart, IN 46515
(800) 297-1516
Convoy of Hope
330 S. Patterson Ave.
Springfield, MO 65802
(417) 823-8244
Direct Relief International
27 South La Patera Lane
Santa Barbara, CA 93117
(805) 964-4767
Episcopal Relief & Development
815 Second Ave.
New York, NY 10017
(800) 334-7626, Ext. 5129
Feed the Children
PO Box 36
Oklahoma City, OK 73101-0036
(405) 942-0228
Food for the Hungry
1224 E. Washington St.
Phoenix, AZ 85034
(800) 2 HUNGERS (248-6437)
Habitat for Humanity
121 Habitat St
Americus, GA 31709
(229) 924-6935
Heart to Heart International
401 S. Clairborne Rd. #302
Olathe, KS 66062
(888) 800-4327
Hearts with Hands
951 Sand Hill Rd.
Asheville, NC 28806
(828) 667-1912
Humane Society of the United States
2100 L St. NW
Washington, DC
(202) 452-1100
International Aid
17011 W. Hickory St.
Spring Lake, MI 49456
(800) 968-7490

International Orthodox Christian Charities
PO Box 630225
Baltimore, MD 21263-0225
(877) 803-4622
Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
1319 Japonica St.
New Orleans, LA 70117
(504) 944-7445
Lutheran Disaster Response
8765 Higgins Road
Chicago, IL 60631
(800) 638-3522, Ext. 2822
Lutheran World Relief
700 Light St.
Baltimore, MD 21230
(410) 230-2700
Mennonite Disaster Service
1018 Main St.
Akron , PA 17501
(717) 859-2210
Mercy Corps
PO Box 2669
Portland, OR 97208
(800) 852-2100
Mercy-USA for Aid and Development
44450 Pinetree Dr. #201
Plymouth, MI 48170-3869
(800) 556-3729
National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster
PO Box 151973
Alexandria, VA 22315
(703) 339-5596
North Shore Animal League America
25 Davis Ave,
Port Washington, NY 11050
(516) 883-7575
Northwest Medical Teams
PO Box 10
Portland, OR 97207-0010
(503) 624-1000
Operation Blessing
977 Centerville Turnpike
Virginia Beach, VA 23463
(757) 226-3393
Operation USA
8320 Melrose Ave. #200
Los Angeles, CA 90069
(800) 678-7255
Salvation Army
615 Slaters Lane
PO Box 269
Alexandria, VA 22313
Samaritan's Purse
PO Box 3000
Boone, NC 28607
(828) 262-1980
Society of St. Vincent de Paul
58 Progress Pkwy.
St. Louis, MO 63043-3706
(314) 576-3993
United Jewish Communities
PO Box 30
Old Chelsea Station
New York, NY 10113
(212) 284-6500
United Methodist Committee on Relief
General Board of Global Ministries
475 Riverside Dr. #330
New York, NY 10115
(212) 870-3816
United Way of America
701 N. Fairfax St.
Alexandria, VA 22314
(703) 836-7100
Water Missions International
PO Box 31258
Charleston SC 29417
(843) 769-7395
World Concern
19303 Fremont Ave. N
Seattle, WA 98133
(800) 755-5022
World Hope International
PO Box 96338
Washington DC 20090
(888) 466-4673
World Vision
PO Box 70288
Tacoma, WA 98481-0288
(888) 56 CHILD (562-4453)

Please forgive me...whilst I ramble about...

A few things on my mind...

It has again been one hell of a summer in Texas...
Or so I thought.

When I put things in context now, not so bad.

You see, the problem is I don't have everything that I wanted from life.
And I lost in life.
Or so I thought.

I made mistakes I would like to correct.
People that I deeply cared about died.
And everything became a jumble of things, that I had a hard time sorting out.
I'm still sorting. Maybe always will be...

I never loved "things" until now.
I love my new 'puter.
I love my freedom...which is another thing I just remembered that I love.

And I love water on a hot summer day.
I even buy the bottled "spring water" because Dallas water just doesn't taste good to me.

Now...imagine this...